What Is Gaslighting
Fueling a Lie: What Is Gaslighting?
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, and it’s one that has been around for centuries. It causes the victim to question their own sanity and can lead to depression, anxiety, or other serious problems. Gaslighting is an ideal tactic for abusers because they can keep their victims under control without having to physically harm them.
gas·light
/ˈɡaslīt/
verb
gerund or present participle: gaslighting
manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
"in the first episode, Karen Valentine is being gaslighted by her husband"
Gaslighting Affects Mental Health:
The mental health of the victim is usually affected by this abuse. The gaslighter will make comments about their target’s sanity, intelligence, and ability to remember things in a way that makes them question themselves and their own judgment. This can be very damaging for someone who has already been struggling with low self-esteem or depression before they were gaslighted.
A victim of this form of abuse will usually feel like they have to walk on eggshells and don't know how the abuser will react if something doesn't go their way. This can lead to feeling anxious, depressed, or more stressed than before because now there are new things that could potentially set off the victim’s abuser.
Gaslighting and Mental Health:
Mental health can also be affected when the victim becomes so stressed from feeling like they have to walk on eggshells that it leaves them unable to focus or concentrate at work, school, or otherwise. This is especially common in someone who has anxiety before being gaslighted because they already know how difficult it is to function in society and this abuse can make them feel much worse.
Victims of gaslighting can have feelings of self-doubt, altered reality, imagining things, and deny that there is even any abuse.
Example Of Gaslighting In A Relationship:
A person who gaslights in their relationship might withhold information from the victim and then claim they had no idea what was going on.
This is a situation where it’s important to have an outside opinion, like that of a family member or friend you can trust. It can be very difficult for someone who trusts them to see red flags when they’ve been gaslighting their partner.
In this situation, it’s all about what the abuser wants to keep hidden and at what cost—usually that of the victim. The goal is to make sure they stay in control so there can be no threat from outside sources or opinions (such as friends). It can also happen in an office environment where the abuser is a boss and the victim is someone who works for them.
Gaslighting Happens In Friendships Also:
Gaslighting can happen in friendships, too—especially when one person wants to control what everyone else does or says. It’s often said that gaslighting “happens all the time on Facebook,” but it also happens in person and it’s still abusive.
This is often done by the abuser telling others that they are too sensitive or paranoid without any proof to back up their statements. They might also use phrases like “you make me so mad,” which makes it seem like everything has been a one-way street when there have actually been many things said and done to get the victim to the point of feeling this way.
How To Stop Gaslighting:
It can be difficult to stop gaslighting because it often starts in subtle ways that don’t seem like anything more than a minor annoyance at first but then escalates over time. Sometimes all someone needs are for another person to notice and say something about what is happening.
It’s important to remember that gaslighting isn’t a game and it doesn't matter if the abuser says they are sorry or makes excuses for what happened because life is too short not to know when someone cares about you enough to tell you the truth, even if it might be difficult at times.
In the end, life is too short to live in an abusive relationship.
Emotional Abuse Leads To Mental Health Issues:
It's important to know that gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, which can lead to depression or anxiety if not handled properly. The main goal for the abuser is to keep their victim under control by making them question themselves. Withholding information from someone who trusts you (such as a partner) is a form of gaslighting.
Regardless of what the abuser might say, it’s important to trust your own opinion and remember that you are not crazy or unworthy—you have simply been lied to by someone who wants control over you.
Gaslighting Someone And Even Gaslighting Yourself:
Gaslighting someone can be done in person, over the phone, or through social media. The first step is to recognize when you’re being gaslighted and then find ways to overcome it. It may not happen all at once after recognizing what's happening—you may have a hard time trusting yourself for a while (even with people who are supposed to be trustworthy).
It’s important to reach out for help from friends or loved ones, and even a professional if the gaslighting continues. It may take time to heal after being on the receiving end of this type of abuse, but it can also happen unintentionally when we are in relationships with people who have high expectations—especially their own (as well as our own).
When it comes to self-gaslighting, most people do not understand that they're doing it until someone points it out. The feeling you get when you realize what's happening is kind of like having an epiphany; things fall into place and your perspective changes completely. This happens because once someone makes us aware of something we've been denying subconsciously, it's easier to find ways of overcoming the gaslighting.
Gaslighting Yourself:
It’s easy to gaslight ourselves when we have high expectations for what our partner is capable of, or if we are the ones who have something to hide. It can be a hard truth to accept that someone you care about has been lying and manipulating you all this time.
When it comes down to self-gaslighting, most people don't realize they're doing it until someone points out their own flaws—it's often verbalized in therapy as "I'm too sensitive," "too needy," or “irrational." But once these words are said aloud (even by oneself), then there's usually some kind of relief that happens because finally, one realizes how true they really are.
Gaslighting Symptoms:
Gaslighting can take many forms and show up in many different ways. Here are some of the most common symptoms:
If you notice any of the following, it may be an indication that somebody is gaslighting you:
You find yourself second-guessing what you're feeling or thinking.
You've been isolating yourself unnecessarily.
You’ve been making excuses for your partner's behavior - even when they may not deserve them.
You’ve found yourself apologizing often.
You've become preoccupied with thoughts about how you come across to other people.
Your self-confidence has taken a hit lately.
It feels like no matter what you do, it's never enough.
You're having a hard time trusting your own opinion and feelings - or the people around you for that matter.
Your emotions fluctuate more than usual - even when something doesn't happen to trigger them directly.
The things that used to make you happy no longer seem like anything but an obligation.
It’s been difficult lately making decisions about what is best for yourself because everything feels so uncertain or unclear at times.
If any of these symptoms sound familiar, then gaslighting may be happening in your life without you realizing it! Keep an eye out for some of the other signs listed above too, as they all serve as indicators of this type of abuse.
The Gaslighting Effect:
Gaslighting is a really complicated form of abuse that often leaves survivors feeling confused and "crazy." It can be hard to remember who we are outside of the words of our gaslighters, or even what's real at times; after all, they've been working overtime trying to convince us otherwise.
It’s important for victims to find ways to re-establish their sense of self - whether it be with friends/family or in therapy (or both). Keeping track of your thoughts and feelings throughout this process will help you expose how manipulative someone has truly been if you're still unsure—as well as give yourself credit for everything you do have control over!
3 Gaslighting Techniques:
The gaslighters' ultimate goal is to make you distrust your own thoughts and feelings. If they can do that, they'll have all the power. Here are some techniques a gaslighter might use to keep you doubting yourself:
They tell blatant lies about you and/or other people in your life to make you look bad, confuse matters or embarrass you in front of others.
They re-write history so that they're always right and you're always wrong.
They let their anger out over small things to scare you into thinking they’ll hurt you then blame any irrational behavior on your part for overreacting to something that wasn't that big of a deal.
Personality Disorders:
Personality Disorder: Gaslighting can lead to personality disorder symptoms - especially in people who are already susceptible to them. Some of the most common disorders that often accompany gaslighting include:
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Paranoid Personality Disorders
Family Members Can Also Cause Psychological Abuse:
A family member or family members can sometimes cause psychological abuse which can lead to long term mental and personal issues. Many abusive relationships can make the victim question reality and feel confused about everything from relationships to reality. There are many warning signs to look out for in everything from relationships to friendships.
How Mental Health Counseling For Gaslighting Can Help:
Counseling and therapy can help people who have been gaslighted or are currently being gaslighted by someone close to them. Both the victim's mental health as well as their physical safety should be considered when deciding whether it is appropriate for the individual in question to stay with a family member, significant other, friend, etc. A counselor can help your realize that someone else can make you doubt and make you question what is really happening. Manipulation can make you feel crazy, make you believe that you are the problem, and makes you second guess reality.
Counselors can help a victim of gaslighting by using medically reviewed therapy techniques that can help victims of psychological abuse.
Consequences:
If you think someone is gaslighting you, it's important to remember that this type of abuse can be incredibly harmful and should never be tolerated! Gaslighters will often get worse over time because the more they realize what they're doing isn't working, the harder they'll try - meaning there, etc.
Gaslighters Ultimate Goal:
The gaslighter's ultimate goal is to make you distrust your own thoughts and feelings. If they can do that, they'll have all the power. A gaslighter's abuse makes you feel confused, causes you to make excuses about what you feel, and makes you often feel self-doubt.
The Abuser Harms Your Mental Health:
Makes decisions for you
Makes you feel wrong
Makes you believe you are crazy
Causes you to believe lies
Makes you think abusive behavior is normal
Takes away your power
Invalidates your feelings
Makes you afraid to make decisions
Tells you you are too sensitive
Blinds you from manipulation
Where Does The Term Gaslighting Come From?
The term gaslighting comes from the 1944 Hollywood film Gaslight.
Get Mental Health Help For Gaslighting:
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that often goes unnoticed. Victims usually don't know they're being gaslit until someone points it out to them, and by then the mental health repercussions have already taken their toll on victims' minds. If you think your partner or friend might be acting as if they are trying to manipulate you into believing something about yourself or others, consider taking this article's advice and calling us today for help. We can provide counseling services in person at our office in Tampa, FL, over the phone through Skype (free), video chat app FaceTime or Zoom.
Get Therapy For Gas-Lighting In Palm River-Clair Mel. FL. 33619
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